I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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