I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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