Your face is a jimmy john
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.