john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver