I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah