Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.