I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
should my penis look like a turkey
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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