FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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