i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
