found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
