that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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