He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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