go do what you do best...puke behind churches
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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