Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
