You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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