Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
