He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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