Your face is a jimmy john
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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