is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
