Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
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8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
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Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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