I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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