North Korea, Best Korea!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I wish there were birth control emojis
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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