I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
