why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
