well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
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period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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