ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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