Hey man sorry I got all grabby
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
