Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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