its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
