WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
