She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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