i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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