Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
