Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
