why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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