Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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