is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's shark week go big or go home
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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