That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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