rhymes with "ouble enetration"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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