Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
