If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
