is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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