I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize