Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
