I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize