what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
