well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
