Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
