If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
