Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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