she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
