If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
