Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize