9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
