You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
