apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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