i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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