I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
