they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
