This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
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No more Irish car bombs ever.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
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I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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