based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
