member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
