my vag is so smooth its legendary
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
