This is not my ceiling
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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